Letter to 10 Years Younger Self
Hey, hi there,
This is me, I mean you, but from the future. I have been out and about collecting some experience in the past few years and now I am coming around to share it with you such as you don’t have to spend so much time wondering in the dark in the coming decade.
Where do I even start, you have just turned 20 and started a university, moved cities started meeting lot of new people. It’s great. Or is it? I know how you are feeling, you don’t like the degree major and are thinking of switching programs. Well my advice is, do it and don’t look back. There is so much to do, so why dwell on things you are not really excited about, with people that are not really your bunch? I know you will argument about “loosing” a year, but don’t worry! If you are putting yourself in a place of higher satisfaction and curiosity, you can hardly call that a loss.
Be conscious about maintaining long-standing friendships. It’s great to meet new people especially if you either align with them very well or if they are very different from you. But in most cases, they are just as good as anyone else. Meeting them can become somewhat overwhelming and you can quickly loose touch with friends from your early phases of life. Well, that’s good for some, because trust me, some people you used to hang out with, were really not aiming upwards, but fair number is just all-right or even great, and they deserve much better than to be mostly buried under constant income of new acquaintances.
Memories and experiences are investments and travelling is one of the best way to collect them, so travel as much as you can afford. Saving money is good, but make travelling something you indulge on for the coming decade. I know, it seems difficult as the budget is tight but almost always there will be a room in it to travel. As soon as you are earning substantially more than to break even, just make it a rule to spend X% of it on exploring the world, and when I say world, I mean going outside of Europe. And yes, that means: take all the vacation you can! Nature beats cities but do get a mix of both.
In coming years, there will be several times when you are faced with having to decide which position or project to choose in your studies or for work. The best advice I can give: focus first on working with people you want to be around with, focus second on the environment, and only after project. The way of progress in any science project is uncertain and the outcomes are by far not predictable. You may think one approach is going to work only to try it dozen of times to no avail and having to divert. While you can learn a lot hustling and getting deep into the subject matter, you will learn much more from the people around you. A supervisor who truly cares about your success and is willing to work with you as you develop to define what it means at given time is worth their worth in gold. You will think it’s a weakness, before you find out it’s a strength.
The second best advice I can give: Allow the decision to sink into your body, and decide which way to turn based on how you feel! If you experience fear or anxiety it is likely still a good idea to go ahead. If you experience sadness, that’s how you now it’s a bad idea! Don’t let your mind tell you otherwise.
Allow yourself to be loved. Whatever barriers you have built as protection that may have been necessary as you were growing up (and they, you can cut yourself some slack here, were) are not needed anymore. You will slowly deconstruct them over the decade, but you will keep tripping over them for a while. Instead of slowly chipping on them, seek to put yourself in positions where a bomb could explode in their vicinity (yes that means dare to be seen and to become vulnerable).
Ok so far this was a lot of “do that” “don’t do that” type of talk, but you should not get overly stressed about. You are actually doing lot of things right already and this advice is mainly to help you move along this path bit faster. Over the decade you will develop strong connection with your feelings and emotions, and you will find ways how to listen to them and share them with others. You will actually become pretty good in the latter and it will allow you to connect quite profoundly with people who are open to do the same.
You will also build a good connection with your own body. You will understand when and why it rejoices and when and why it hurts. You will learn to negotiate with it and care for it. You will learn to listen to it to get measure of your overall wellbeing. You will build a sustainable and varied fitness routine that will also aid your productivity. You will learn how to strain it to become stronger over time, without pushing it to overdrive or towards injury. Some of it you will learn alone, and some of it you will learn with others, and as you learn about others’.
You will learn to find satisfaction in doing hard things. You will work hard and you will do well thanks to it. You will make substantial contributions to other people’s work and make new contributions of your own. Numerous doors will open and you will build strong and supportive professional network. It won’t be always easy. It will take you a while to build a meaningful relationship with productivity – to perceive it not as an overly demanding boss and kind of an obsessive compulsion, but something you actually enjoy not only for the fruits of it, but also for the process. But you will get there, mostly, and that’s all you can ask for.
Oh btw, yes you are allergic to histamine. And yes, do throw more parties!
What would you tell 10 year younger self? Drop me a hint in the comments.
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